I use to smile, and laugh and feel pretty so much more than I do now.
I use to love without hurting.
My husband was good before, He was, and now he is an asshole. He says something in him died in Afghanistan. Does that make it okay for him to kill something inside me now?
I don’t want to get divorced, I don’t wan’t to start over, I don’t want to lose the man I love.
But I Don’t want to spend the rest of my life crying over him. I don’t want to feel lonely and ugly and sad all the time. I don’t want to be less than amazing.
I wish he would treat me right. I wish he would treat me the way he promised he would, the way I know he can. Be he isn’t. And He says he wont care if I leave him. So many I should….
I feel like if I stay here I will kill myself. Because it hurts so much to love someone, and have no one else because of everything you sacrificed for them….and they don’t even care. I want the pain to stop, I don’t want to feel this rejection and hate….
Don’t worry though,.. I’m not going to do anything stupid…but If god struck me down right now it would be merciful.